As usual, another long delayed post. After a year since posting the previous post and almost two years after the events, this is the sequel to my story about relocating to the province.
A whole day’s worth of travel
The plane ride was a smooth flight. Our dear son (DS) fell asleep during the flight while our dear daughter (DD) was kept busy with the bubble wrap I specifically brought for her to play with. I thought she would be able to stay awake for the duration of the flight (she hates naps) but she fell asleep just a few short minutes before landing.
We arrived in Cagayan de Oro (CDO) on July 25, 2019. I was relieved as our plane touched down and I uttered a short silent prayer thanking God for the safe flight that just concluded. I have to admit, however, that though I longed for and looked forward to the simple, provincial life, I was anxious of what the following days would be like, of what lies ahead. That early on, though we didn’t migrate to another country, I could definitely feel that I was an “alien” in a “foreign” land with the “foreign language” I was hearing and the culturally-dressed ladies I was seeing even while we were still in the airport in Manila.
Since we have kids, luggage bags, a baby stroller, and a couple of boxes, my husband arranged for a private van to drive us from the airport to our new home since the airport shuttle do not service the area where our house is located. The shuttle plies to the central business district (CBD) in the downtown area of CDO but we need to be brought to what the Kagay-anons call the uptown area. Yup, I’m an uptown girl. Haha.
So we couldn’t get home just yet. We still needed to travel a little more for approximately 45-minutes to an hour (without traffic). I initially thought we would be living somewhere far-flung pero ‘yun pala, it’s because when you book a flight, the plane does not technically fly you directly to CDO. You would be landing in an airport in another town, actually four towns away, in Laguindingan. The airport here is actually “new” (having commenced operations a few years earlier), sort of a centralized one in Northern Mindanao as it replaced the previous, individual airports of CDO and Iligan, the Laguindingan Airport now serving them both. So medyo deceiving when you book a flight. Hehe. There is an airport in CDO but it does not operate commercially anymore as it has been converted to a military base. We actually live very near this (military) airport, about 10 minutes away lang.
Our plane touched down past noon. My husband and I could have foregone eating lunch but we have kids so even if it would’ve been convenient not to eat and go straight home, we needed to. Eugene initially said we would just drive-through McDonald’s to grab something we’d eat when we arrive home but he decided instead to stopover at Panagatan, a seaside restaurant in the town of Opol, where we dined-in for a late lunch.
We finally reached CDO and arrived home around five in the afternoon, more or less. It started to rain a bit so the weather was a bit cool. Ahhh… home. Home! Our new home! After the puyat the previous night, the stressful travel to the airport, hauling our luggage bags (and kids) around, stopping over to eat, and dropping by the shuttle’s office (to pay and get a receipt), after traveling almost the whole day, it felt really good to finally reach and see our new home.
But we didn’t stay at home yet, not just yet. We just unloaded our stuff, left the house, and hit the mall. Yes, the mall. Our first order of business upon our arrival in CDO was to hit the mall. Haha. Well, that’s because we left our toiletries and other personal items in Manila. We decided to just buy new ones in CDO. So we needed to buy those stuff right away. We also bought food (mostly breakfast items) for the following days. SM is just five minutes away, anyway. After shopping we ate dinner before heading back home.
The early days
To console me for the need to move away, somebody told me back in Manila that I should treat our relocation as one long vacation. But I had no intention of heeding that advice not because it was not a good advice but simply because when you’re a nanay (especially of very young kids), “vacation” is a term that is not only elusive but is completely obliterated from your vocabulary.
So we have finally moved to the province. The simple, so-called provincial life I had so far romanticized is now within my grasp. I just had to turn it into reality. Only, upon waking up the following day and the days that followed, I found myself so lazy I couldn’t get myself to get out of bed and get things done, you know, cook, clean the house, get the kids out to play, etc. It’s as if my body automatically and unconsciously shifted into FULL vacation mode. And the switch seemed to be gone or broken because I couldn’t switch myself back to “normal”, whatever that means. Haha. The spirit was willing but the flesh was so, so, so weak. I was so, so lazy. And I couldn’t overcome my laziness.
This sluggishness went on for days until the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months. (Parang community quarantine lang, ‘no?). And before I knew it, half a year had passed.
Six months.
For six months, I wallowed in laziness.
For six months, waking up early and getting out of the bed was a daily challenge.
For six months, I couldn’t get myself to do things.
I couldn’t cook. So my husband cooks. Or we dine out. Or do take-out. Or order food for delivery. A lot of times I’d prefer to dine out so I wouldn’t need to wash the dishes because doing so was such a heavy task. I was that lazy. And to be honest, embarassing as it is to admit it, cooking has always been a weakness. I really find it challenging.
I couldn’t clean the house. I am actually a clean and neat freak and couldn’t stand a dirty bathroom. Pre-kids, I would scrub our bathroom meticulously every week. (And when we had kids I hired a weekly cleaner to maintain the house). During our early days in CDO, I wasn’t able to clean the bathroom for months. Against my (normal) will, I allowed the dirt and the grime to accumulate that our bathroom was worse than a public restroom.
I couldn’t bring my kids outside to play. I couldn’t even read a book to my kids, something that’s supposedly a joy to do and something that supposedly feels effortless to do.
Aside from the laziness and sluggishness I felt, I didn’t want to be left alone with the kids at home. Na-de-depress ako. I dread every time my husband needs to go out. So we tag-along as long as we could, i.e., as long as our presence would not be a distraction to Eugene’s work. He needs to go to the courier, we tag along. He needs to pay a bill, we tag along. He needs to buy something for work, we tag along. It’s always a family day out.
I just had no energy at all. The only thing I was able to consistently do, without fail, was the laundry.
Except for my husband, I have nobody else to sympathize with me. So I would console and tell myself that it’s okay to feel lazy for the time being and allow myself grace and time to settle down. I would psyche myself but at the same time or a few moments later, I would really, really be upset with myself for being lazy.
There were other moments I would find myself overwhelmed with similar conflicting emotions. For example, I was happy with where I was, living in the province. I honestly love the environment and/or atmosphere I am in. But sometimes I would find myself wishing for the comfort of familiar people and places.
At other times, I would feel so gloomy for no particular reason. Then some times, I would simply feel helpless and hopeless because I don’t know how or if I would be able to turn my situation around, if I would ever be able to overcome my laziness, if I would be able to get myself to settle into a similar chore-routine I had back “home”.
I wished settling down was as easy as it was for my dear daughter. Before flying here, I told her we would be going somewhere far and live there which means she wouldn’t be seeing our house in Pasig, GCF, or her friends anymore. And at 3 1/2 years old, she understood. I asked her if that would be okay with her. And she answered, in all innocence, “Okay lang po, Nanay.” And true enough, she never showed any hint that she missed her life before nor any difficulty in adjusting to our new life.
So this was how my early days in the province went. Utter laziness. Six months after, in February 2020, we went on a three-week vacation in Manila. I looked forward to this vacation the moment our tickets were paid and I was so glad it happened. I don’t know what it did or if it did anything at all to me but when we came back home in CDO, I felt better and, slowly, I was able to switch myself back to life. It was not a complete or sudden switch back to my normal mode but slowly, I was able to push myself to do and accomplish things.
Unfortunately, that time was also the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic…
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